Fashion over Function

Yesterday was our first of two Orienteering meets! Orienteering is bascially cross country with a scavenger hunt component to it. Participants have to find certain number of 'controls' in order while completing the course as quickly as possible.

This year the course was much more difficult mostly because of some of the control placements. There was at least one or two that were located by raspberry bushes (read: thorns). Most of my students came by torn up and bleeding.

I overheard the coach of another school talking to one of his senior females about the race...

Teacher: "Good job!"
Student: "Thanks, sir. I'm bleeding!" (her calves were torn to hell by the raspberry thorns and she was wearing 3/4 length tights, fyi)

Teacher: "That's why I told you yesterday to wear long pants."
Student: "Yeah. I know. But these are so cute!"

It's hard to argue with logic like that.

Not sure John Hughes would approve...

Our school has an In-School Suspension Room. It is a place where students who consistently break the rules go to quietly think about their actions and get caught up on work they have missed due to these poor decisions. They are not supposed to talk or leave the classroom for any reason. Their lunch is at a different time from the rest of the student population so that they have minimal interactions with their friends. Needless to say, the clientelle in this room on any given ISSR day (the room is 'in action' fairly infrequently) are, generally, not the cream of the crop of our student population.

One of my colleagues was discussing this room with some of his grade 12 students who just couldn't understand how someone could end up in this situation. However, I think they summed up the ISSR population very well with this statement:

"It's like the Breakfast Club...with assholes."

JUST overheard this doozy (subject line of the email sent to me...

...from my colleague:

"Sir, is it true that if the baby has hair on its head, that gives the mother heartburn?"

That clunking sound you heard was my jaw dropping.

I love my job

I started the Ecology unit with my grade 10s today. During the introductory lesson with my period 3 class I mentioned, somewhat off-topic, that I am opposed to killing things just for the sake of killing them and that I detest even killing spiders in the house. At this point one of my more vocal students in the class interjected with this comment:

"Every time I kill a spider I feel as if other spiders are looking at me... silently judging."

So dumb...

This one comes from one of my colleagues...

Student 1: "Can I hook up a circuit to your lip ring?"

Student 2: "But that would be like science stuff going through my lip."

Teacher: *a soft sigh*

This Kid is a Gold Mine!

Here is another gem given to me last week by my storyteller of period 3:


Apparently, this young man has a picture in his house of his grandmother holding an AK-47. She was 75 at the time the picture was taken. In the same breath he also claims that his grandfather, who is currently 90, fought in WWI, WWII and the Cold War (not quite sure what he was 'fighting' in the Cold War...).


Side note:

My brother and I were talking about this student and his stories this past weekend when he said this: "Imagine if you went to this kid's house and EVERYTHING was true. There's a wrecked Ferrari in the driveway. You walk in to the house and his dad, wearing a priest's collar, says 'Hello my son. Sorry I didn't hear you come in as I was in the backyard chemical engineering'. His grandmother is downstairs cleaning and repairing her AK-47..."

This went on for a little while. It was hilarious.

I WISH I had a bongo!

I just asked one of my colleagues if I had shown him my blog yet. One of my misfits (the kids who hang out in my room at lunch...I refer to them as my misfits...as in the island of misfit toys) totally misheard me...

Me: "Hey sir, have you seen my blog yet?"
Student: "You have a bongo? *pause* Wait. I didn't hear that right did I?"
Me: "Not even close"