High Level Skills

This one from the grade 12 university level biology course:

One student remarked while constructing a model of a phospholipid bilayer (think cell membrane), "Sir, I don't know how am I suppose to make this model in 3D."

I was covering a class on Monday when a student (who is unknown to me, by the way) asks "Sir, were you at the [small town] fair on Friday night?"

Me: "Yeah. Where was I when you saw me?"

Student: "You were walking that way." [she point ahead of her while delivering this statement.]

What I actually said: "Oh, you mean the midway."

What I wanted to say: "Could you be anymore vague? What does that even mean?!"

I think I made the right choice. Normally I wouldn't pass up an opportunity like this but I figured I didn't know the student and it would be a really bad first impression. Some of my colleagues disagree, however.

A Productive Use of Time

A grade 12 student was talking to one of my colleagues about another teacher whose last name is a type of cheese.

"Miss, Mr. Cheese wanted to know if I had a fourth period prep. I told him 'No' and asked him why. He said 'Oh, that's too bad. I wanted you to wax my car.'"

Happy Friday!

One of my colleagues relayed this one to me. One of our VPs told her this.

Two girls were talking outside after one of our many fights this past week.

I guess Girl #1 was talking quite a bit and not allowing Girl #2 to get a word in edgewise.

Girl #2: "Could you PLEASE let me talk?! Like, shut your mouth, i'm not a dick."

Getting Warmer...

My department head came in to tell me this one. He was walking through one of our colleagues' room to access our supply room (presumably) when he witnessed this exchange.


Teacher: "Ok ladies and gentlemen, what is the name of the first chemical on the board?" (presumably he was doing a lab and had a few listed on the blackboard along with the materials required for the lab)

Student: "uhhh 'physical'?"

Teacher: "Um, no. The first chemical listed on the board."

Student: "'Test tube'?"

Aaaaand we're back

Summer is gone and school is upon us!

My classes are decent so far. I don't have any standout assholes...yet. It's always hard to tell at first as the first two weeks are the honeymoon period. The real behaviour won't surface until next week at the earliest.

I was told that at some point during the second day of school a female student lost a tooth after a fight.


Yesterday I witnessed an autistic girl having a major freakout which required three staff members to subdue. They were kicked and scratched (hard enough to draw blood). Also, there was four fights during lunch. One was so bad that paramedics were called to the school.
 
Welcome back!