Their purrs help with the fingerprintin'

From one of my colleagues:

Situation: A grade 12 Biology class

Scenario: A paper mock-up of the process of DNA fingerprinting (specifically, a paternity case). Students need to cut up DNA sequences at a restriction enzyme sequence and use a 'probe' to identify matching coding sequences.


The coding sequence: CAT

The probe: GTA (obviously ;) )

Overheard:

Partners at one desk:

"Got all the CATs highlighted?"
"yeah"
"ok, go through them now and add the GTAs"

kid at neighbouring desk:

"I really don't get what this has to do with cats"

Movember

So if you are reading this and don't know who I am, well I rock a beard and have for the last few years.

However, I shaved it off at the start of at the end of October for Movember. I have been growing it back steadily over the last couple of weeks and I have been getting my students to vote on the moustache style I should shave it into. I figure a quarter a vote would be a good way to help raise a bit of money for prostate cancer.

Anyways, I was talking with my period 3 grade 10s about how if the zorro style 'stache wins (which it currently is...) I'd had to have a bit of a five o'clock shadow (so it doesn't look as creepy). To which one of them interjects:

"Oh, my mom has one of those."

This same student, minutes later, asked if wintergreen lifesavers were only available during the winter.

It should be noted that she is the one to ask the 2011 question, previously posted.

So this just happened...

"Sir, it's 2011, right?"

Good Luck With That

An assembly was held period 4 yesterday to recognize the students who achieved either honours (+80%) or merit (75-79%) in their courses from the previous year.

On Wednesday I asked my period 4 class "Who is attending the awards assembly tomorrow?" so I could get an idea of how many would be absent. Three of them spoke up and said they were going. Cue this student who was clearly half listening...

Student: "Sir, is there, like, a buy-out for that thing tomorrow?"

Me: "Yeah. Go back to last year and do better in all of your classes"

I'm a dick.

Complex equations

The desks in my lab inevitably fill with garbage. Many students feel that the desks are their own personal garbage can. It is disgusting and every couple weeks I pick a student, who is being a jackass in class, and get them to clean ALLL of them. Free labour!

However, at the end of some days I will walk around and clean up some of the more offending messes AND, every now and then, I will find notes or doodles which I find hilarious. The one i'm about to share is just plain weird. [This has been transcribed as accurately as possible (the penmanship is awful)]

Safatuation + Bball Manager = FUN, tournaments, honour of giving C. THUNDER water, towels & massages
         = MAD
      PUSSY

Unbelievable

I'm currently covering a grade 9 essential level math class. Luckily there are only 7 students and they are relatively quiet. This isn't really interesting at all. Just thought i'd mention it. What really caught my attention was the instructions left by the teacher. Below the teaching instructions were specific information items pertaining to a few students. I have never seen anything like this written down before. Here it is! (names have been changed):

John Smith: he has an epipen, what causes his reactions are unknown, please keep an eye on him and be prepared to administer the Epipen if he needs it.


Jane Doe may have difficulty breathing if she gets bumped, or hit on the chest, is she is having any difficulty, call 911 immediately.


Jen Brown has health issues and she may appear to be space out from time to time; she may be having hallucinations. If she has to leave the classroom have another student accompany her (she has never asked to leave the classroom, so you should not really worry).


How awful is this teacher's grammar? I mean I understand you're a math teacher, but please.

"This just in..."

airplanes eat hawks. (according to one of our grade 9 students).