I WISH I had a bongo!

I just asked one of my colleagues if I had shown him my blog yet. One of my misfits (the kids who hang out in my room at lunch...I refer to them as my misfits...as in the island of misfit toys) totally misheard me...

Me: "Hey sir, have you seen my blog yet?"
Student: "You have a bongo? *pause* Wait. I didn't hear that right did I?"
Me: "Not even close"

"To Obtain a Special Dialing Wand Please Mash the Keypad Now."

This happened about a half hour ago....finally caught up!


Our department recently came into some money via a contest won through a large computer and electronics chain. Long story short, we bought a 'netbook lab'. 20 netbooks to wheel between classrooms for our students to research, etc. They are not univerally loved by students based mainly on that fact that they are small. Here is one such complaint which I found hilarious.



Student: "I hate these computers"
Me: "What? Why?"


Student: "My fingers don't work with them."

Sometimes I Feel Bad for Laughing

Last Thursday was the OSSLT (Ontario Secondary School Literacy Test) which is written by Grade 10 students...and any older students who failed it the first...or second time.

My period 3 class was wrapping up for the day last Wednesday when I wished them all luck on the test tomorrow.

One of my female students, quite loud I should add, yelled "WHAT?!"

I'm really hoping that she thought I was referring to a test in my class and not that she forgot about a test that we have had assembly after assembly about over the last few weeks.

At any rate, it was funny and the whole class had a good laugh at her expense. Sorry!

Tall Tales

There is a male student in my period 3 grade 10 class that is always talking. Always. Some of the anecdotes he shares to me or whoever will listen seem a bit too unbelievable. He made some comment a little while back (which I forget! and am kicking myself for not writing it down...) that seemed like a blatant lie. I decided to ignore it and not call him on it. I was informed by a couple of his peers that he has been churning out these comments since elementary school. They shared a few with me. I had to write fast so I think I missed a few:

- He once surfed a wave higher than the school. (I presume he was referring to his elementary school at the time which is only 1 floor in height and not 3 like the high school...)

- His father is a priest and chemical engineer. Oh, and he fought in Desert Storm.

- He crashed a Ferrari

- His car insurance is $10,000/year...presumably because of the accident. (oh...and he is only 15 years old)

His latest?

- He has slept with 30 of his past 50 girlfriends.

This just in: teachers are just like everyone else!

Some of my grade 10s were having an animated discussion regarding which teachers are hot when one of them asked me:

"Sir, what do teachers do for romance? Like, do you sit around marking papers?"

He was totally serious. I can't even remember how I answered this, to be honest. I was so stunned by the question.

I find notes!

I love finding notes!

Student 1: "have you ever seen mississipi burning?"
Student 2: "Nope Why?"

S1: "I have to watch it and its about the KKK and im the only black guy in my class. i'm kinda scared"
S2: "which class?"

S1: "English. its horrible they burn crosses and stuff and they do horrible stuff to black people"
S2: "Who's the teacher? Did u make fun of her? Maybe that's why she's making u watch it."

S1: "never she loves me"
S2: "is she asian?"

S1: "Is she asian?"
S2: "Nope pure white"

Temporal Specificity

I've been neglecting this. I blame March Break...

I frequently overhear conversations between students in the hall. I forgot most of them as I hear so many. This one stuck in my head.

Student 1: "What time are hockey tryouts?"
Student 2: "4 to 5"

Student 1: "What a stupid time. Why wouldn't it be 5 to 4?"
Student 2: "...what? that doesn't make sense."

Student 1: "Yeah. Four minutes to 5 is so specific."
Student 2: "Buddy. You're messed."