This just in: teachers are just like everyone else!

Some of my grade 10s were having an animated discussion regarding which teachers are hot when one of them asked me:

"Sir, what do teachers do for romance? Like, do you sit around marking papers?"

He was totally serious. I can't even remember how I answered this, to be honest. I was so stunned by the question.

I find notes!

I love finding notes!

Student 1: "have you ever seen mississipi burning?"
Student 2: "Nope Why?"

S1: "I have to watch it and its about the KKK and im the only black guy in my class. i'm kinda scared"
S2: "which class?"

S1: "English. its horrible they burn crosses and stuff and they do horrible stuff to black people"
S2: "Who's the teacher? Did u make fun of her? Maybe that's why she's making u watch it."

S1: "never she loves me"
S2: "is she asian?"

S1: "Is she asian?"
S2: "Nope pure white"

Temporal Specificity

I've been neglecting this. I blame March Break...

I frequently overhear conversations between students in the hall. I forgot most of them as I hear so many. This one stuck in my head.

Student 1: "What time are hockey tryouts?"
Student 2: "4 to 5"

Student 1: "What a stupid time. Why wouldn't it be 5 to 4?"
Student 2: "...what? that doesn't make sense."

Student 1: "Yeah. Four minutes to 5 is so specific."
Student 2: "Buddy. You're messed."

Teachers See Everything...spelled poorly.

This past year our school has been hit with a graffiti epidemic. The boys bathrooms have been the primary target and everyone is getting frustrated with it. However, this next piece is just hilarious in its irony. (The teacher's name has been blurred out for obvious reasons)

Spending more time in class with his "fucking deuche" of an English teacher may actually help him to aspire to something a little more dignified than tagging high school bathrooms. Or not. Whatever.

Baby Electrons!

Today I was teaching my grade 10s the concept of covalent bonding in molecules. I had just made the point that two hydrogen atoms will share their electron with each other so in effect they will each have two. I went on further to state that because each atom's electronegativity (their ability to hold on to electrons) is equal to the other each atom will hold on equally strong to both electrons.

One student piped up with this interesting analogy:

Student: "So the hydrogen atoms would be like the parents and the two valence electrons would be their children."

Me: "That is a great analogy! The only difference being that the children aren't orbiting the parents at the speed of light."

That was met a little bit of pity laugher. I REALLY need to this on one of my colleagues.

*Edit: Tried it on one of them. Fell flat. Boo! I thought it was clever.

A new fashion trend, perhaps?

Today my grade 10s are doing a chemistry lab that involves some potentially dangerous chemicals and, therefore, need to wear safety glasses. The text also tells them to wear aprons. I don't make this mandatory as I think it's overkill. Invariably, however, there will be at least one student who WANTS to wear them. It doesn't tend to last long as they trap heat like crazy.

I have one (male) student right now who has been rockin the apron for the better part of the period and when I asked if he was "getting hot yet", he answered "No, but this apron is slimming!"

I was unprepared for this response and laughed quite a bit.

I really have no basis for comparison

I'm not sure if I mentioned this before (and I'm really too lazy to check) but I have a group of kids who hang out in my classroom at lunch. They eat, socialize, play computer games, etc.

One just walked in and said to another whilst holding out a book: "Best fairy book ever!"

I have been missing out on this entire genre!